


Keep Moving Forward

by LilisBooks



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asexual Charlie Kelly, Canon-Typical Gang Behavior (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Charlie Kelly is a Good Friend, Dee Reynolds Tries, Dennis Reynolds is a Bastard Man, Frank is Frank, I need the Bastard Man to suffer and Mac to find happiness, M/M, Mac and Charlie are best friends, Mac has his faults but he just needs love, Post-Episode: s12e10 Dennis' Double Life, Post-Season/Series 12, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:26:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilisBooks/pseuds/LilisBooks
Summary: Dennis is gone and Mac doesn't know how to cope. They've always been the "Dynamic Duo," but... who is Mac really without Dennis by his side?Or...Set Between season 12 and 13, my take on what happened that year and a half.
Relationships: Charlie Kelly & Mac McDonald, Charlie Kelly/Mac McDonald, Mac McDonald & Dee Reynolds, Mac McDonald & Frank Reynolds, Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	1. Without You

**Author's Note:**

> So... I'm once again back on my bullshit and this time I'm gonna make the Bastard Man suffer. 
> 
> This fic was inspired by a lot of songs, but the idea was born after I finished reading [Somebody Else](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16118801/chapters/37654496) by [macdentrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/macdentrash/pseuds/macdentrash) and the angst just broke my heart.
> 
> English is not my first language so please, be patient with me.
> 
> Hope you like it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first six months after Dennis is gone. Heavy angst. Hurt/Comfort. Mac’s POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Inspired by ‘Without You’ of Avicii ft Sandro Cavazzo_
> 
> TW for this chapter: Heavy depression, neglect of oneself, mentions of abusive relationships by the abused person, who doesn’t understand they were abused. Brief mention of suicidal ideation. Canon typical behaviour.

_8:00 pm_

_On a Friday_

_Philadelphia, PA._

Dennis was gone, and Mac felt empty and cold. It was an emptiness he had never felt, because even when the storm inside him was ragging, Dennis was there, anchoring him, holding him close. Dennis would always say, in his own words, that Mac would never have to face the storm alone, cause he would always be there for him.

But now, Dennis had taken off to North Dakota, leaving him heartbroken, drifting to drown in the middle of the storm. And Mac knows, deep inside his bones, that somehow, it’s his fault. Coming out had been a step towards something more, and giving Dennis the RPG in front of the gang might have been a step too far in that direction. But it was trying to raise Brian Jr. with him that had been the tipping point for Dennis to bolt out of the state.

Because even though they called themselves “Blood Brothers” and “Best Friends,” Mac knew that Dennis knew that their relationship was anything but a normal friendship. They were too codependent, too ignorant of personal boundaries and too emotionally intimate with each other to be just "normal bros". Even when living in denial, Mac knew that what he felt for Dennis was something much more deeper than he was willing to admit.

But Dennis was gone, leaving Mac to fend for himself without him for the first time ever since the other man had gone to college. But unlike that time, Mac didn’t know if Dennis would ever be back. His parting words had been final, and the fake phone number he had left said more than any letter he could’ve written.

Mac remembered seeing the piece of paper with the number for the first time, the feeling of hope blooming inside of him, thinking that he was the exception for Dennis like the man himself was for Mac. Only for that hope to crash and burn inside his chest once he dialled the number and an automated voice told him the number didn’t exist.

That was days ago or weeks ago, Mac didn’t care anymore, but since then Mac hadn’t moved an inch from inside his bed. He knew he and the apartment both reeked and a shower was in need, but he couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it. Who out there could possibly care for Mac the way Dennis had? Who could love him like Dennis had, unconditionally and irrevocably?

Mac knew Dennis loved him, there was no question about it. They had loved each other since high school, all through their 20s and 30s, always there for each other. No one had ever loved Mac, at least not until Dennis. But he had left without looking back, uncaring about what he was leaving behind. And if the only person who had ever loved him was gone, there was no hope for Mac at all.

Mac wished he had the energy and strength to run and chase Dennis, to beg him to return to Philly and be together like they always had, but the numbness on his chest stopped him from moving a muscle. He wondered if maybe the numbness would be enough to make him stop breathing and take him away, to a place where he could be with the love of his life.

If Mac closed his eyes and focused, he could hear Dennis in the kitchen, calling for him to get up from the bed and make dinner. Later they would eat, Dennis complaining that Mac didn’t know how to cook, but in the fond and loving manner he used to do so. Then they would watch a movie, where Dennis would proceed to hug him or cuddle, but try to hit him if Mac initiated it. Dennis liked control, and Mac loved him for it.

He could even picture how the night would end, with Dennis turning to look at him, holding each other with just a look, slowly closing the distance before...

“Shit Mac, you smell,” a voice above him said, startling him out of his thoughts. “How long have you been in here?”

Usually Mac would bitch and scream, telling whoever was talking to him to mind their business, but now he couldn’t care less. Whoever it was wasn’t Dennis, so Mac didn’t care. He rolled up inside the blanket, trying to block the sounds of outside.

“Mac?” the voice said, sounding closer, “are you there man?”

Mac wanted to close his eyes and turn away from the voice, fold himself even more and hide from the darkness surrounding him with Dennis by his side, but the numbness and the reminder of reality stopped him from moving a muscle. He could hear whoever it was approaching the bed, sitting at the edge of it. 

“Guys, he’s here, but he’s not looking good!” the voice screamed, close to his ear, but Mac didn’t even flinched. Footsteps were coming closer, and Mac began feeling a spark of anxiety, which died down the minute a hand placed itself in his leg and started drawing small circles in it.

“Goddamnit!” Another voice said, gagging once they came closer, “smells like shit in here.”

“Who died here or what?” a third voice said, “shit, this smells worse than our apartment, Charlie.”

“I know Frank, but I don't care about that! Mac is not moving, he’s just lying here all quiet and everything!”

“Is he dead? That would explain the smell.”

“Frank, shut the fuck up, he’s not dead, okay? He’s just miserable because Dennis took off and left him and these codependent losers can’t live without each other.”

“You think Dennis is like this? I thought he had no feelings but there was also that whole RPG thing Mac gave him.” The hand in his leg stopped moving. 

“I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT DENNIS!” The first voice screamed, silencing everyone, “I could care less about Dennis, but Mac is right here and he needs us.”

“Since when do you give a fuck about him?” the second voice asked, full of disdain. “Didn’t you hate him like the rest of us?”

“OH MY GOD DEE, IF YOU’RE GONNA BE A BITCH ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING GET OUT OF HERE!” the first voice screeched, almost making Mac’s ears bleed. “I DON’T NEED YOU AND YOUR STUPID FACE.”

“Okay, okay, Jesus calm down, I was just saying,” 

“Well don’t,” the voice interrupted her at the same time the hand began doing circles in his leg, “either you’re here for Mac or you’re out of here.”

“Then I’m out, bitches,” the third voice said, “I don’t care about any of this and I rather bang a broad.”

“Yeah, whatever man, I’ll see you later.”

The door of the apartment closed with a bang, and Mac had to fight the instinct to yell for Dennis to come back to him. That voice didn’t belong to Dennis, none of them did, and Mac just wanted to scream.

“What, you’re not going with him?”

“He’s not the only one that misses Dennis, you know?” the voice said, faking indifference, “I’m probably the one who understands the most how he’s feeling.”

“Ew, were you in love with your brother?”

“No, dipshit. I meant that…”

“Yeah, yeah, I don’t care, just… help me with Mac, okay?”

“Goddamnit, you asshole,” the voice murmured, “fine, let’s get him out of bed.”

Next thing he knew, a pair of green eyes appeared on Mac’s field of vision, having removed the blanket he was using to hide. Charlie tried to shake him but Mac recoiled from his hand, making the other man stop in his tracks. Sharing a brief look with Dee, Charlie squatted next to him.

“Hey man, it’s Charlie,” he began saying softly, “what do you say we get you out of the bed and into a shower?”

Mac said nothing, just stayed still. Old Mac would’ve said something about how the tables had turned, because it was usually him that reminded Charlie to take a shower. He wanted to tell Charlie something, anything, but his own body didn’t listen to him.

“Please tell me we’re not gonna have to shower him,” Dee said from where she was standing, at the end of the bed, “I don’t wanna see his junk.”

“Then what do you propose, eh, Dee?” Charlie screeched, “‘’cause I’m running out of ideas and I don’t like this okay? I don’t like it one bit!”

“Charlie…”

“No! Mac is supposed to tell **me** when to shower, when to clean my place, I’m not the one who tells him, never!. Mac is the most clean person I know! This is all wrong! He is not supposed to be like this, Mac is never like this, Dee. Mac is… Mac is full of energy and… and things and I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.”

“Charlie…” Mac said, scratching his throat as it was dry and sore from disuse, “I…”

Before he could continue, he started coughing, hurting himself in the process.

“Bring him a glass of water Dee!” Charlie demanded as he approached Mac in his coughing fit, “please.”

Without saying anything, Dee went for it, returning moments after with a glass of water. She silently gave it to Charlie, who supported it while he made Mac sip water after getting him to sit down on the bed.

“Easy there, Mac, I don’t want you choking on water.”

“Can we move from here, please? It smells like shit.”

“So you’ve said Dee, but honestly, it’s not that bad.”

“That you are used to living in filth, Charlie, doesn’t mean the rest of us are as immune as you are, and believe me it smells like shit.”

“Shut up, bird,” Mac said out of habit but with no real emotion.

“Don’t call me a bird, asshole, especially when I’m trying to help you,” but her voice held no real venom, unlike other times.

The room stayed silent while Mac continued sipping his water. Dee looked around the room with morbid curiosity, but kept silent when she saw how the room was clearly designed to be a couple’s room, with both Mac and Dennis' thing scattered throughout it. 

“You need a shower, dickhead,” Dee said breaking the silence once she was done with the tour around the room, “I’ll change your sheets while you do that.”

Mac wanted to say something, either “stay away from my shit, Dee,” to “thank you, thank you, thank you.” He settled for a quick nod, putting his vase down on the bedside table. As he attempted to stand up, he realised just how weak his muscles were out of staying in the same position for so long. But before he could collapse on the floor, Charlie was there to catch him up.

“I got you, man. I got you.”

Together, they walked towards the bathroom, only stopping once when Mac caught sight of Dennis’ closed bedroom door. He felt his heart break once more at that, but Charlie didn’t let him dwell on that feeling for long, as he dragged him towards the bathroom in a hurry.

The shower was… something else, as Charlie tried to get in with him to help him get clean. Even though Mac was going through the motions, he stopped Charlie from doing that. He let him stay in the room while he showered, uncaring about Charlie seeing him naked. They had seen each other at their best and their worst, so what was this in the middle of it all? Nothing.

The shower ended and Mac noticed Charlie had brought with him a pair of boxers and sweatpants and a Paddy’s Pub t-shirt, which he gladly took. Mechanically he dressed, silently thanking Charlie that he didn’t bring him one of Dennis’ shirts that mysteriously ended in Mac’s possession.

They returned to the bedroom, where Dee was finishing putting on fresh new sheets. Mac stood there, watching everything around him, and noticed that Dee had also hidden away any mention of Dennis from the room. Gone were the pictures of the both of them or his shirts on the floor. Charlie took notice of this, and he and Dee looked at him anxiously, probably waiting for him to explode. But to everyone’s surprise, including his own, he walked towards the bed and dropped down into it. 

“Thanks,” he murmured softly from where his face was smashed into the pillow. 

And somehow, everyone knew he wasn’t thanking just for the bath and the sheets.

“Yeah, well, whatever,” Dee answered, clearly uncomfortable. “I’m gonna order some Chinese, okay?” She added before fleeing the room.

After she closed the door behind her, it was just them, with Charlie making Mac sit down on the bed before sitting next to him. They stood there, not saying anything, drawing comfort from the part where their thighs touched. And for the first time since that day, Mac felt something inside of him besides pain and sorrow. 

Once the food had arrived, unanimously they decided to eat on Mac's bedroom floor. No one was talking but it wasn’t uncomfortable, as there was a strange sense of quiet beneath the surface, like if they started shouting like they normally did, whatever they had constructed would fall apart. And without Dennis, things were unbalanced like never before. 

Besides the takeout, there were 5 six packs of beer on the floor surrounding all of them. Dee was on her way to get blackout drunk, and unlike other times, Mac knew he wouldn’t be kicking her out to be on her own. He’d make her sleep on the couch while constantly checking up on her.

Charlie, on his part, was strangely pacing himself, only on his third beer of the night. Maybe he had huffed some glue or drank some paint, but didn't seem likely. All he was doing was looking around the room and chewing his food. Mac was somewhere in between Charlie and Dee, not wanting to let go of the pain just yet, but drinking enough to make it bearable. 

After a while, once the food had been finished, Dee was passed out on the floor, and Mac and Charlie had to carry her to the couch, as she refused to wake up no matter how much they tried. Checking once more she was in fact breathing, which she was, Mac returned to his bedroom, followed closely by Charlie, who again sat next to him, this time leaning on the headboard of the bed. 

“Why did he leave me?” Mac asked, placing his head on Charlie's shoulder for support, not daring to look at the man but needing some sort of comfort. “If he loved me like I know he did, then why did he leave?”

“I don’t know, man,” Charlie answered, taking a sip of his own beer, as he put his head atop of Mac’s “but it sucks.”

“It hurts Charlie, it hurts so much.”

“I know buddy, I know.”

And while everything wasn’t settled, Mac felt something akin to friendship and companionship in that small moment. 

…

_6:00 pm_

_On a Wednesday_

_Philadelphia, PA._

Mac was sitting in front of the TV, not really looking at what was happening in front of him. A woman was talking about penguins or something like that but Mac’s attention was elsewhere. It was the first time he was outside of his room ever since that day, and Mac was doing everything in his power to fight the memories of movie nights and touches full of yearning and hidden promises.

He focused on the events of the weekend, with Charlie staying over with him as he was hiding from The Waitress, who had finally slept with him. The morning after the night they had helped him, Mac and Charlie had woken up Dee with a breakfast that had helped them in the past with hangovers. No one said anything about the uncommon behaviour of the members of the gang, but once she was done and she left the apartment with a “Bye, bozos,” she gave them a look that said more than simple words could've said.

After that, Charlie and Mac returned to Mac’s bedroom, where Charlie told him everything that had happened with The Waitress and that he was staying with him because he was hiding from her stalking him. Mac hadn’t agreed or disagreed, but he knew he was thankful for Charlie. And while he didn't understand his change in behaviour regarding The Waitress, he could appreciate his friend's company. 

Charlie stayed in his bedroom with him, sleeping “ass to ass” as he was used to with Frank, which Mac had always found weird. Both men refused to acknowledge the elephant in the room, Dennis’ empty room, and the possibility of Charlie staying there never even crossed their minds. It was taboo in the apartment by mutual silent agreement.

Charlie had left on Monday, claiming that he needed to go back to his place and while Mac hadn’t wanted him to go, he didn’t stop him, rather staying put, just like he had with Dennis. The day after that, a _Tuesday_ , had been a blur of drinks after drinks, trying to forget which day it was and what it represented for the “Dynamic Duo”. And, when he woke up, he had decided to continue to swim in his misery for the day, nursing his hangover silently with more beers. However, a loud bang outside the apartment interrupted his plans for the night, as the door opened with a blast, making him jump.

“You and me!” Charlie announced as he opened the door and led himself inside the apartment, “Boys Night!”

“Charlie… what?” Mac had too many questions inside his head, starting from how did Charlie get inside the apartment to why Boys Night out of everything, “we haven’t done Boys Night ever since we were in our 20s.”

“Exactly!” Charlie exclaimed happily as he plopped on the couch, ignoring Mac who was now standing up, looking lost, “it’s time we bring it back.”

“Why?”

“Because I miss it, man! We can watch movies, sniff some glue, eat as much takeout as we want and no one will say a thing!”

Mac did miss those nights with Charlie, where he didn’t have to put on a front to be something he was not. They had stopped once Dennis came back from college and demanded that Mac lived with him, claiming that without Dennis' help Mac would probably crash and burn on his own. They tried for a while to have Boys Night with Dennis, but it just wasn’t the same. And while Charlie had stayed over on the weekend, Mac hadn’t been in the mood to be a person, so they just stuck together around his bedroom, not doing anything in particular.

Mac didn’t want to wander like a ghost anymore. He wanted to live again, even if it hurt.

“Yeah, okay, bro, let’s have Boys Night,” Mac said with a small smile, that was quickly reciprocated by Charlie’s blinding one.

As Mac settled on the couch once again and opened his phone to see the options of what they could order, a fleeting memory appeared in his mind. It was much like what was happening at the moment, except it had the both of them as teenagers having sleepovers at their places, sharing everything that crossed their minds. He looked at the man, who was now looking for movies to watch within his collection, and a warm feeling began spreading through his chest. He had forgotten how easy things could be when he was with Charlie.

…

_12:00 pm_

_On a Sunday_

_Philadelphia, PA._

It had been a month since that day, and while Mac wouldn’t outright say he was better, he was at least going outside again. He was back at Paddy’s, to everyone’s delight, even if they hid it pretty well, except for Charlie who had outright celebrated and gave him a beer earlier that day the moment he sat down in a stool. 

It was the first time he wandered outside the apartment, and while it was overwhelming to face the world without Dennis, it was also freeing in a way, being outside the apartment that held so many memories of the both of them. Every member of the gang had come and visited, even Dee, who had claimed she had gotten used to his presence after a year of living together.

He knew that she was also missing Dennis, so he kept quiet as she bombarded him with stupid movies like _Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Bridesmaids, Magic Mike XXL,_ _How to be single_ and, worst of all, _He’s not that into you_. He understood what she was doing and while he was angry and bitched at her, he also stayed with her watching those movies and laughing from time to time.

On his part, Frank had let him not go to work for a month, not even complaining about it, and visited often with some new video game he had found that he wanted to try with him. They never talked, but it was good and exactly what Mac needed from him.

Charlie, however, after the first Boys Night, had become a permanent fixture in his life. Not a day went by that he didn’t come and spent time with Mac, even staying when Dee came with one of her stupid movies. Boys Nights also returned with full force, every Wednesday night, where they would get high on glue and watch whatever was on TV. He also stayed over more often than not, still hiding from The Waitress and they would remember all the things that had happened in their childhoods. 

As Mac looked around the bar, he tried to ignore the pang in his heart that appeared when Dee started making drinks, just like Dennis used to. He was still waiting for Dennis to come back and sweep him off his feet, claiming he had missed Mac as much as Mac had missed him. 

A shot appeared before him, dragging him out of his thoughts. Dee said nothing, just pointedly look at him before returning her attention to Charlie and Frank, who were in the middle of retelling their latest adventure in the sewer. Not for the first time, Mac wished he was like Charlie, free and unbothered by missing people or uncaring that the object of his affections for more than 15 years had decided to be with him. He even was avoiding her!

Mac wanted to be like that with Dennis, uncaring of his presence, bothered by his affections. But he craved it, like a starved man. Dennis knew of it, even mentioned it from time to time, yet he still left. Maybe Dennis was more similar to Charlie than Mac, and Mac didn’t like feeling like The Waitress one bit. 

“How are things with The Waitress?” he asked, once Charlie and Frank were done with their story.

“Oh, man, don’t even mention her!” Charlie exclaimed, his good humour dwelling a little, “you’ll invoke her and she’ll be here any minute.”

“I thought you loved her and wanted to marry her.”

“But she’s so annoying!” Charlie said before hitting the bar with his hands, “she’s always nagging me and nagging me and it’s so annoying.”

“And why not have Frank deal with it?”

“Oh, no, I’m not approaching that thing,” the little old man said as he sipped his drink, “he made his bed, he might as well lie on it.”

“Frank, that doesn’t even make sense, man,” Charlie began saying before being interrupted by Mac.

“But then, where are you staying?”

“With me,” Dee said venomously, “it’s been great, by the way.”

“Oh, shut it, Deandra, I’m now paying your rent, aren’t I?”

Dee agreed reluctantly before drinking her shot, “doesn’t mean I won’t complain.”

“Ungrateful children,” Frank murmured, seemingly tuning out the conversation in front of him.

“Why you ask, Mac?” Charlie said, demanding Mac’s attention, “already tired of me over at your apartment?”

“No, not at all dude,” Mac said, embarrassingly quickly, “I was just curious.”

“You never gave a shit about me and The Waitress though.”

And well, yeah, that was true, which hit Mac right in the face, as he realised just how awful of a friend he had been to Charlie for the last couple of years. Apparently, more things needed to change, not just him learning to live without Dennis. 

“Yeah I’m… trying to make some changes in my life.”

“I don’t care that you never cared, dude,” Charlie said, returning to his drink, “but yeah, that’s how things are.”

While he wanted to ask the gang if he was Dennis’ Waitress, he realised that, maybe just for once, things could be about someone else, not just him. Charlie had proven he was a good friend in his time of need, so maybe it was time for Mac to return the favour.

“Well, bro, if you need anything to get rid of her, count me in.”

And the small smile Charlie gave him after that, well, it was worth everything.

…

_1:00 pm_

_On a Saturday_

_Philadelphia, PA._

The three month mark had been crossed, and Mac was just a little better and a little worse for wear. He still hadn’t dared to go over Dennis’ room and clean it like he knew he should, but there was no rush, maybe Dennis would still…

“Hey’o,” Charlie greeted, interrupting his train of thought, as he entered Paddy’s, startling them all. “You guys are not gonna believe what I just learned!”

“Were you at the dumpster without me, Charlie?” Frank asked, looking hurt at the possibility of not going to a place filled with garbage.

“Nah, man, haven’t been there in a while,” Charlie said like it was no big deal, “it’s about The Waitress!”

“You finally got over yourself, decided to be with her and banged?” Dee asked from where she was standing behind the bar cleaning some glasses.

“Nah, not interested in that anymore,” Charlie said as he grabbed a beer, “she finally got pregnant so she is leaving me alone!”

The gang stayed silent as they processed the news. 

“Does that mean you’re gonna be a dad?” Frank asked after a moment of silence where no one knew what to say.

“What?” Charlie asked, spitting some beer in his shock. “No, she didn’t get pregnant by me!”

“Oh,” Mac said, breaking his silence, “then who is the father?”

“Some bozo she met at a bar or something like that,” he said with a shrug, continuing sipping his beer, “I’m just glad to finally get her off my back, you know?”

“Charlie, you were obsessed with that woman for more than 15 years,” Dee said exasperatedly, “and you’re telling us she’s pregnant with another man’s baby and you just… don’t care anymore?”

Charlie looked uncomfortable as he processed the question, sharing a brief look with Mac before sighing. He left his beer at the bar and took a deep breath.

“After I slept with her… I don’t know, it felt wrong. I’m not that… interested in sex to be honest and she didn’t like that so… you know. It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, bro,” Mac said, “I know you really wanted that to work.”

“Well, yeah, but now it means I can look for someone else to really love me!” Charlie continued, excitedly.

“Are you for real?” Dee asked, interrupting their cheer. “You’re not gonna go back to obsess over her once she leaves your apartment?”

“Oh, she already left. I went there to talk to her and I found her with the bozo gathering her things. That’s when I learned she was pregnant and moving north.”

“She’s going up north?” Mac asked, his heart racing. Dennis was up north, “where?”

“She didn’t tell me, but somewhere in the countryside I think,” Charlie said indifferently as he returned to his beer.

“Oh, Dennis needs to hear this,” Mac said as he took his phone and opened the messages app, “he’s not gonna believe that she might be moving near him.”

As he said those words, he was entranced by his phone, already typing the message, which is why he failed to notice the looks the gang exchanged in front of him.

“Uhm, Mac… have you been talking to Dennis?” Charlie asked, looking unsure.

“Oh, man, don’t worry,” Mac said as he understood Charlie felt left out, “he hasn’t answered me so that’s why I didn’t tell you, but I keep him updated of everything that’s been going on, our schemes, how my day is being going, stuff like that.”

“Oh, you asshole…” Dee said from her clenched teeth, “you goddamn asshole.”

“Why am I an asshole?” Mac asked, a little hurt, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys but I didn’t think it was a big deal, like I said he hasn’t answered me, that means he's too busy being a dad and I respect that!”

“Weird, he answers me fine just perfectly,” Frank said as he continued to eat nuts from where he was sitting in the stool.

“What?” Mac asked, focusing his entire attention on the little man, “you’ve been talking to Dennis?”

“Sure,” the other man said, uncaringly, “he texts me to ask what I would do with Brian Jr. in certain situations and then calls me an asshole, only to repeat the cycle days later.”

“He… what?”

“Apparently, he’s interested in my advice as a father.”

“No he’s not, Frank,” Dee said, exasperated, “he just wants to know what you would do so he does the opposite and fucks up his kid in different ways than you fucked us up.”

“You’ve been talking to him too?” Mac asked her, dumbfounded and hurt.

“Mac… man, it’s not what it looks like,” Charlie said placatanly from his seat, looking at Mac like he was a wounded animal, “is just…”

“You too?”

“Mac, we were just trying to protect you,” Dee said, sounding sorry.

“Protect me from what? Dennis? He’s my best friend, he… he cares about me, he misses me like I miss him.”

“Mac…”

“No, Charlie, you know nothing about Dennis and me, okay?” Mac yelled, feeling something constricting inside his chest. “You don’t understand our relationship!”

“Are you serious?” Charlie asked, unhinged, as he stood up to be face to face with him. “You think I’m some dumb idiot who is the least smart out of all of you, but I know things, Mac. I realise more than you could ever do!”

“Yeah, like what?” Mac asked, peeved as he too stood up, towering over Charlie.

“Like you worshipped the ground Dennis walked on and he despised you!”

“You’re lying! He loved me, like no one has ever loved me before!”

“WHAT?” Charlie asked, looking like he was about to explode and destroy the bar in his rage.

“He loved me like no one else had, he constantly checked on me, made sure I was there by his side. He gave me a puppy when we were living in the suburbs and… he wanted to be my roommate, even if he… kicked me out sometimes, we would always come back together. He loved me, Charlie, I know that.”

“That’s not love, Mac!” Charlie exclaimed, deranged, as he started pacing around the pub, “Are you hearing yourself?”

“Dennis…”

“Dennis was incapable of loving anyone, even himself!”

“You don’t know that!” Mac yelled in return, “You’re just saying shit about him!”

“He constantly said that he hated you!”

“Yeah, well, so do you, so that doesn’t mean shit.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t leave you like he did!”

“Charlie…”

“He just took his things and left, leaving you a fake phone number and no way of contacting him. Did you know that he has been checking up on us but has asked not to tell you about it, huh? He doesn’t wanna talk to you, man! He doesn’t give a shit about you!”

“Charlie!” Dee said from her corner, looking panicked, but Mac paid her no attention. Charlie had to be lying, Dennis would never do that to him.

“No, no, you’re lying, Dennis, he…”

“He called me the other day to tell me about his kid, has he talked to you at all about Brian Jr. or anything?” Charlie continued, cruelly, ignoring the sound of Mac’s heart breaking, “He sends me picture after picture and even tells me about the dates he’s been going on with that woman we met.”

“Charlie…” Frank said softly from behind Mac, with something akin to pity, but Mac didn’t turn around to make sure. He knew what he must have looked liked, tears streaming down his face and all that, but he couldn’t stop.

It had to be a nightmare, and he was about to wake up any minute now.

“When are you gonna start listening to me, man?” Charlie asked, looking defeated, as he sat down once more, “I knew a version of Dennis you didn’t and… I’m not sure he ever truly loved you. Maybe he loved the attention you gave him, but Mac, a person who loves you doesn’t do the shit he did to you.”

As Mac kept hearing Charlie’s words inside his head, he failed to realise he was crying. Sobbing would be a more accurate word, as there was snot and whimpers coming from him. He could feel everyone’s eyes around him as he collapsed onto the floor, clutching his chest hard enough to leave marks. 

Charlie was next to him in an instant, but Mac was elsewhere, a daunting realisation falling down on him and suffocating him. Dennis wasn’t coming back, and maybe all he knew about them was a lie.

…

_11:00 pm_

_On a Thursday_

_Philadelphia, PA._

It had been a long six months, especially after learning Dennis kept in touch with the gang except for him. After learning that fact, Mac had withdrawn into himself once more, blocking everyone out for keeping such a thing from him.

A week or so afterwards, Charlie, Dee and Frank knocked down his door and barged in, demanding to talk to him and explain what had happened. After hearing their explanation, Mac had wanted to scream and shout, but instead he just took Frank’s attempt at an apology and asked for money to join a gym. After that, every time he wanted to explode in anger, well, he just grabbed his bag and went to work out. Needless to say, he was building up some muscle like he hadn’t before.

While he was back on good terms with the rest of the gang, the six month anniversary of _the night_ found Mac standing by himself right in front of Dennis’ bedroom door, ready to face the music once and for all. Charlie was gone, back at his apartment to hang out with Frank, as he was still staying up with Mac in his room. And while he wished Charlie was there with him, he also knew he had to do it alone. 

He opened the door, only to be greeted by the Ass Pounder 4000, which he hadn’t touched since the arbitration, only to recoil from it as the memories flooded him. Everything he tried to suppress came back at full force and he couldn't breathe. Suddenly, a fit of anger engulfed him and Mac couldn’t think clearly anymore, he just needed to punch and let the anger go. 

In three long strides he was next to the bike, and without giving it a second thought, he started the destruction. He ripped the dildo out and tore it to pieces, while breaking the seat of the bike from the big hole it had. He trashed the bike around the room, throwing it as far as he could only to walk towards it and throw it once more. He hit and kicked and screamed until he had no energy left in his body, collapsing on the floor. There were tears on his cheeks, but he made no effort to clean them.

Standing up, he took the bike from where it was and carried it downstairs into the trash. He could feel the look the people around him were giving him, but he didn’t care. He threw the bike and the dildo into the trash and walked away, to never look back.

Once he returned to the apartment, he felt an urgent necessity to clean the whole place. From the kitchen to the bathroom, going through his bedroom and the living room, leaving no space untouched. He had just one goal and it was to clean the apartment until it was unrecognisable to everyone who entered it. 

Minutes turned into hours, and before he knew, the sun was raising and Charlie was back at the apartment with two cups of tea and a muffin. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of Mac on the floor with a rag, rubbing it as hard as he could.

“Hey Mac, what are you doing?” the smaller man asked as he set the cups and muffin on the table and approached him carefully.

“Cleaning.”

“Okay,” Charlie said as he squatted down next to him. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“It’s been six months,” Mac said instead, ignoring the question, “I’m about to finish cleaning the place.”

Charlie said nothing, just stayed silent while looking at him. Mac decided to ignore him, proceeding with the cleaning. Once he felt the floor was clean enough, he turned to look at Dennis’ old room. It was the only thing left to clean and Mac didn’t know if he was up to the task.

Charlie must have noticed his hesitation, because, next thing he knew, he was standing right in front of Dennis' room. He was also carrying all the cleaning supplies he had with Charlie by his side, both men looking ready for battle.

“Let’s do this,” Charlie said as he barged in, Mac following close behind.

He didn’t keep track of how much it took them to clean the room, but he knew it was the longest he had taken to clean a room in the apartment. Maybe it was because he would stop every so often, remembering something Dennis had said or done in a specific place, or maybe it was because whenever Charlie caught sight of that he would approach him and distract him with whatever was on his mind. Whatever the reason, Mac realised it was well into the afternoon when they collapsed on the couch.

“I’m in the mood for pizza,” Charlie said as he stretched up after a yawn. 

“Sure, bro,” Mac agreed with a small smile, “Hawaiian is fine by you?”

“Whatever you want, Mac,” Charlie said with a lazy smile, closing his eyes and resting his head on the couch. “Whatever you want.”

As Mac called the pizza place and looked around the place, he felt a sense of content deep inside of him. But it was looking at Charlie all peaceful and relaxed which made him realise he no longer felt alone like he had felt not so long ago.

Mac knew he still had a long way to go, that it’s not easy to move on from a man you had loved for more than half your life. He still had a long way to go on his path to learn who he was without Dennis. But he knew he wanted to love again, a type of love that didn’t let you wonder at night if you were enough, but a love that felt right deep within your bones. He had to stop moping around, waiting for the missing piece of his heart.

Dennis was no missing piece of Mac’s heart, at least not anymore. Whatever had happened between them was long gone, and it was time to accept that. Mac would be okay, because he wasn’t alone. He had Dee and Frank, to some extent, but most important of all, he had Charlie, just like when they were kids. With him by his side, everything would be okay. He was learning to go on without Dennis, and someday, it will stop hurting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... next chapter... what do you think will happen?


	2. Just... Forget The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the 1st year Dennis is gone. Fluff and softness all around. Charlie’s POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Inspired by ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol_
> 
> TW: Mentions of abusive relationships by the abused person, who doesn’t understand they were abused. Canon typical behaviour. Use of the f-word in the beginning, in typical Frank behaviour. Brief mention of an anxiety attack when Charlie and Mac are at the restaurant.

_ 11:00 pm _

_ On a Thursday _

_ Philadelphia, PA. _

Charlie was tired and wanted to go home, but he had promised Frank to spend the night back at the apartment like the good old times. Whenever Charlie really thought about it, he found it funny that he now considered Mac’s apartment home instead of the one he shared with Frank. But, after months of staying there, keeping each other company… well, it reminded Charlie of the times when they were teenagers and all that they had was each other.

“C’mon, Charlie!” Frank said from where he was sitting on the couch, calling for him, “it’s the Gruesome twosome back together again.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here, man,” Charlie responded tiredly as he sat next to him. As much as he enjoyed spending time with Mac, he had missed Frank, a lot.

“Thinking about the boyfriend?”

“What!?” Charlie screeched, recoiling from Frank, “Mac is not my boyfriend.”

“I never said it was Mac,” Frank said smugly before laughing, “oh, don’t tell me he turned you into a fa…”

“Stop it right there, Frank,” Charlie said, sitting normally once more, “we both know that you know you’re not supposed to say that word, at least since that thing with the lottery ticket.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Frank said, dismissively, “so… are you one?”

“One what?”

“Like Mac.”

“I…” Charlie paused, doubting. He didn’t know what he was or what he felt, but he was sure Frank wouldn’t care either way… right? “I don’t know, I just know that I like spending time with Mac, like back when we were kids, you know?”

“Back when you were kids?” Frank asked, regaining interest in the conversation, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well… I…” Charlie’s head didn’t make a lot of sense to him most days, but whenever Mac was related, he made less sense, “when we were kids, it was always Mac and me, against everyone else, okay? Like, when Uncle Jack was in town, I would spend the night at Mac’s and he would never ask questions or he would punch people in the face whenever they made fun of me.”

“That doesn’t sound like the Mac we know, you know, the annoying one?”

“Yeah…. He… he changed after Dennis entered our lives. He never used to care about holding hands with me in case I would get lost or hugging me when I was scared, but the minute Dennis saw it and mocked us… Mac just stopped and became this macho guy who believed to be… i don’t know, he was just really annoying to be around, and kept becoming more annoying as time went on.”

“That sounds really gay, Charlie,” Frank said, looking dubiously at him, “don’t tell me you gave me the AIDS by sleeping next to me all this time?”

“No, man, I don’t have AIDS, okay?” Charlie yelled, exasperatedly, “and I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what? You don’t know if you gave me the AIDS?”

“OH MY GOD, I DO NOT HAVE AIDS, I JUST SAID THAT I MEANT I DON’T KNOW IF I WAS A LITTLE GAY FOR MAC, OKAY?”

“Jeez, Charlie… calm down. You don’t have AIDS, got it.”

“You’re not gonna say anything about...?”

“I don’t care,” Frank said, shrugging as he prepared to go to bed, “As long as you don't give me AIDS, you can do whatever you want with your life.”

That made Charlie smile, “thanks man,” he said before turning around to sleep. While he missed Mac next to him, as he had gotten used to sleeping next to the man once again, he was comforted by the fact that Frank was still comfortable with sleeping next to him, despite his confusing feelings regarding Mac.

The next morning, Charlie got up as early as he could, ready to go back and spend some more time with Mac, preferably watching movies and getting high on glue. He had wanted to watch a new movie on Mac’s computer, and the other man had promised him to wait for him to watch it together.

“Hey, man,” he said to Frank as he got to the door, “I’ll see you later, okay? I’m going home.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Frank mumbled, still deeply asleep, “whatever.”

Smiling, Charlie shook his head from side to side before leaving the apartment behind. 

As he walked towards Mac’s, he saw their favourite place had opened, which meant he was perfectly capable of grabbing Mac’s cup of tea as well as a muffin for himself. He didn’t get what Mac liked about tea, but he always grabbed one for himself as well because he got to share something else with the man. And a muffin was nothing if not delicious, though not as delicious as a good plate of cat food. Something he hadn't really craved since living with Mac.

However, his good mood soured a bit the moment he crossed the door to the apartment and saw Mac kneeling on the floor, scrubbing it with a rag with everything he got, looking like a mad man. Charlie stood there, contemplating Mac and an unwelcoming feeling made himself known inside his stomach.

“Hey Mac, what are you doing?” he asked as he set the cups and muffin on the table and approached Mac carefully, like he would a wounded cat.

“Cleaning,” was the only thing Mac said as he kept on what he was doing.

“Okay,” Charlie said as he squatted down next to Mac. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“It’s been six months,” Mac replied, ignoring his question, “I’m about to finish cleaning the place.”

And suddenly, everything made sense inside Charlie’s head. Mac was cleaning the apartment because he had finally realised Dennis wasn’t coming home. He looked around the apartment and noticed, for the first time, the intense smell of cleaning products, as well as the lack of Dennis in all the place.

Charlie had never really cared about the shrine-esque aspect of the apartment, or Mac’s total obliviousness to the fact. He knew that what transpired between Mac and Dennis was more complex and twisted than anyone could understand, even within the gang, and it had been like that since the moment they had met in high school.

But he also knew that Dennis had hurt Mac, deliberately, for a long time, using the feelings Mac had for him to his favour. Mac wasn’t perfect, he was annoying even on his best days with his talks about God and Hell and whatever, but he was also entirely devoted to the people he loved. Once, it had been Charlie who held that spot, only to later be transferred to Dennis.

He didn’t hate Dennis per se, but the man was a bastard and didn’t deserve the love and devotion of someone like Mac, even if he could be really annoying about it. And what no one else seemed to understand is that Dennis made Mac annoying, or so more than usual, because without him… Mac was turning back to his old self, the one Charlie really, really liked.

Mac stood up, interrupting Charlie’s train of thought, and turned to look at Dennis’ room with a hollow, empty expression. He looked haunted, if that was a thing, but with resolution written all over his face. If Charlie knew him, and Charlie did know Mac, better than anyone else, he would say that Mac was hesitant to finish the job.

And Mac wouldn’t spiral down once more if Charlie could do anything about it. With care, he helped Mac walk towards the room and collected all the cleaning supplies they had. He put some on Mac’s hands and some on his own, knowing his friend needed his support for the upcoming battle.

“Let’s do this,” he said as he barged into the room, knowing Mac was close behind.

As they cleaned the room, they kept silent. Mac on his own world and Charlie reflecting on the past six months. He had been angry when he found out Mac wasn’t getting any messages or updates from Dennis, despite the rest of the gang being kept on the loop about what was going on with the self proclaimed Golden God. The pictures of Brian Jr. had been cute and all, but it was knowing that Dennis was still creating a rift between Mac and the rest of them that irked him in the worst way possible. He didn’t understand why Dennis did what he did, but he wasn’t okay with it. And it was then that he had decided he had to protect Mac from Dennis' cruelty, even forcing Dee and Frank to help him doing so. 

Dennis hadn’t been there when Mac was so depressed he barely moved, or when Mac was so silent it was unnatural, acting unlike any other time he had in his life and Charlie had wanted to rip himself apart in despair, not knowing how to fix the one and only constant in his life. Dennis wasn’t there when Mac laughed for the first time, two months after his departure, because of something Charlie had said or when Mac suggested Predator for Boys Night and made Charlie’s night. Dennis wasn’t there, but he sure was the reason behind it all. 

But Charlie wasn’t really allowed to dwell on his bitterness against Dennis, because from time to time, Mac would stay still and silent, looking at the verge of tears in a particular spot. Charlie then had to go to him and bring him back, remembering stuff about their childhood or middle school. On his own, it would’ve taken him an hour top to clean the room, but he knew Mac needed this, for some reason, and he would be there for Mac.

It took them a while, but in the end they finished, collapsing on the couch, ready to die. The tea and the muffin were cold by now, but Charlie didn’t care, he still ate them without a care in the world as they both sat there. From the corner of his eye he could see Mac drowning in anxiety, his hands aching for something, but unable to reach for it. And all Charlie wanted was to erase that frown and make that expression to never appear on Mac’s face ever again.

“I’m in the mood for pizza,” he said as he stretched up after faking a yawn, exaggerating how tired he was. 

“Sure, bro,” Mac agreed with a small smile, after a brief pause. “Hawaiian is fine by you?”

Charlie hated Hawaiian, with all his heart, but for some insane reason, Mac loved it, and everything Charlie was doing was in order to make Mac happy. For him, he could endure a night of Hawaiian pizza, maybe even longer than that.

“Whatever you want, Mac,” he said with a lazy smile, closing his eyes and resting his head on the couch. “Whatever you want.”

And he meant it.

…

_ 11:00 am _

_ On a Friday _

_ Philadelphia, PA. _

“Hey’o!” Frank exclaimed as he entered Paddy’s with swag and style, claiming the attention of the rest of the gang. “I have news.”

Charlie and Dee were the only ones in the bar, with Mac in the back office doing some paperwork Charlie couldn’t even begin to understand. A couple of weeks after Dennis had left, Mac and Dee had decided to split his tasks equally between the two of them. Dee took care of the bartending and Mac of the administrative side of things, aided by Frank. Or as much help as Frank could be in that area, Charlie wasn't sure about it.

For anyone else, it would’ve been a surprise that decision, it certainly had been for Dee and Frank. But Charlie knew Mac, and Mac was smart, despite what people thought. Sure, he had struggled in high school just like he had, but there was a reason Charlie was able to graduate and that reason was Mac. If it weren’t for him, helping him with his homework, letting him copy enough to pass but not enough to alert the teachers, Charlie would’ve dropped out of school or gotten himself expelled. 

And, after a few months of Mac doing more than okay in that administrative job, no one doubted his intelligence. Or rather both Dee and Frank were happy not to have to deal with Paddy’s papers and shit like that, as they had put it. 

“They’re opening a new fancy restaurant somewhere around here,” Frank said, pulling Charlie out of his thoughts, as he sat down next to him and grabbed the peanuts at the bar.

“And what does that have to do with us?” Dee asked as she kept cleaning the glass in her hand, having lost interest after Frank’s words.

“Well, it’s nice to have a new place where we haven’t been banned from,” Charlie said as Mac appeared from the back office, hair ruffled as if he had passed his hand through it a lot. Charlie wondered, not for the first time, if now that Mac didn’t put tons of gel on his hair if it would be as soft as it looked.

“What new place?” is the first thing Mac asked as he sat on the other side of Charlie, slightly leaning in to grab a beer from behind the bar.

“Frank was telling us about this new restaurant, but he hasn’t said what he wants from us,” Dee explained, looking suspiciously at Frank. Charlie knew she had a bad history when it came to trusting Frank, but that was before. Now things just were different within the gang.

“Well, Deandra, before you interrupted me, I was thinking we should all check it out.”

“But why?” Dee asked, putting the glass down as she stared at her not-father.

Instead of answering, Frank just shrugged, continuing with his peanuts. A silence settled within the gang, as no one really knew what to say. In the old days Dennis would’ve escalated things by insulting Dee and Frank, maybe even Mac and Charlie if they showed any interest in the invitation, but so far, no one was in the mood to mock anyone, not even Dee.

“I think we should go,” Mac said, breaking the silence, “it would be nice to get all of us together for a fancy dinner. We haven’t done that in a while.”

The memory of the last time the gang had dined out hung heavy between all of them. Memories of Dennis serenading Mac filled Charlie’s head, as well as the uneasiness of the situation that the “paying respect” thing had created between them all. But maybe he could change those memories, if only because he was a better singer than Dennis in every way.

“Yeah, I agree with Mac,” Charlie said after a brief pause, “and if we’re all going together, no one has to pay respects to anyone.”

Mac smiled softly at Charlie, making him feel warm. He reciprocated the smile and shared a moment with him, forgetting for a moment that Dee and Frank were in the bar with them. He was already composing what he wanted to sing to Mac in front of the whole restaurant, and he was sure it would erase any memory Mac had of the night they had dine out separately at Guigino’s.

“And who’s gonna pay?” Dee asked, breaking their moment, “none of us are exactly rich to go to a fancy dinner, except for Frank.”

“I have some money,” Mac said, all of the sudden, looking embarrassed, “I was saving it for a special occasion but… you know, nothing more special than the gang hanging out.”

Instead of acknowledging that, which Charlie really wanted to, specially to know what special occasion Mac was talking about, he decided to ask more important questions. 

“Won’t Dennis notice that, since you two share an account?”

“Nah,” Mac said, looking unbothered as if that wasn’t what had him embarrassed, “he hasn’t used that account since he left and I use it to pay the rent. If he cared about the money, he would’ve called.”

Dee, Frank and Charlie exchanged gazes, much to Mac’s obliviousness, as he had gotten lost inside his mind after saying that. Mac said it so… blatantly and unaffected that to anyone else wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but everyone in the gang knew that for Mac to speak so calm and collected regarding Dennis was in fact a huge deal for him. No one knew how to acknowledge that without dulling the moment, so they all decided to leave it for the time being.

“I will pay for the dinner,” Frank said eventually, “you can still save for that special occasion.”

At that, Mac came back from his thoughts and brightened up, turning to look at Charlie with that soft gaze he used to have back when they were kids. The warmth returned to Charlie, and he realised for the first time, that he quite enjoyed the warmth he felt whenever Mac looked at him, especially like that.

“Thanks man,” Mac said before turning to look at Dee, “so, what do you say bird, are you in or out?”

Dee just looked at Mac, exchanging glances with him, like they were having a silent conversation just the two of them. Eventually, Dee gave up and sighed, throwing her long arms up on defeat.

“Yeah, fine, whatever, let’s all hang out together at a fancy restaurant before we get ourselves kicked out.”

And the whoop of excitement Mac let was quickly replicated by Charlie and then Frank, who didn’t know why they were whooping but whooped anyway. Dee was looking at them like they were crazy, but Charlie saw the small smile she had when she returned to the glass, shaking her head in fondness.

As he looked at Mac and Frank making plans for that evening, Charlie understood that fondness in Dee’s eyes. But it was when Mac looked at him that Charlie realised he never wanted to stop feeling that when Mac was around. 

...

_ 10:00 pm _

_ On a Saturday _

_ Philadelphia, PA.  _

It actually took a couple of months between Frank’s invitation and the moment the gang was actually able to check out the new place. Or so Mac told him one day when he was complaining that Frank had probably forgotten all about paying for that dinner and he would be the one paying for everyone. Charlie let him rant, because while it was amusing to see Mac getting riled up over nothing, he wanted to know what special occasion had Mac so… reluctant to spend his money. 

In the years they had known each other, Charlie knew Mac was careful with money, more so than him. He never spent money on useless things like Dennis, or on drugs like Charlie, but rather on groceries and stuff to keep his apartment looking like… a home. He didn’t even buy fancy clothes for himself like Dee or Dennis, going instead with Charlie to thrift stores like they always had. 

“Waiting for Dennis to come back and wine and dine him?” Charlie asked, more bitterly than he had intended, interrupting Mac’s rant about the dinner.

“I… What?” Mac asked, confused, looking oddly at Charlie, like he had grown another head. “What are you talking about, dude?”

“Well, you’re being annoying about this ‘special occasion’ that you want to spend your money on and you don't shut up about that you won’t be able to have it because of our plans to hang out in that new restaurant Frank was talking about. The only times you’re that annoying is when Dennis is involved, so it’s obviously about you still waiting for him to come back.”

He hadn’t intended to sound as bitter and hurt as he had, but he had just gotten his best friend back. Trust to Dennis to ruin that, even from North Dakota. Charlie thought Mac had gotten better about that, he wasn’t so mopey and sad, not even on Tuesdays. He had stopped being annoying and was back to caring about Charlie. But maybe Mac would never get over Dennis, at least not really.

“Dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I know Dennis is never coming back,” Mac said, still looking at Charlie oddly, “I’m not ‘waiting for him’ or whatever it is you’re thinking. Dennis is gone and… I’m okay with that.” He added after a pause.

“So what’s this special occasion you keep going on and on and on?” Charlie asked, unable to stop himself. Maybe Mac had his eyes on some beefcake and wanted to date him, and if that was the case, Charlie needed to know in order to protect his best friend from getting his heart broken all over again.

At that, Mac blushed, his cheeks turning pink and his eyes looking down. He rubbed the nape of his neck, a thing he did whenever he was embarrassed, and looked around the apartment as if looking for the answer somewhere in there.

“Hey, it’s okay if it's for a date with a beefcake,” Charlie said, feeling uncomfortable at having made Mac uncomfortable, “I get it, you want them to experience the suave and sophisticated Mac, the one that…”

“It was for you and me, dude,” Mac said softly, still refusing to make eye contact with Charlie, “I wanted to treat you to a day of whatever you wanted, going to a hockey game or feeding birds all kinds of stuff or anything you wanted.”

“Me?” Charlie asked, feeling his own cheeks turning pink. “Why?”

“‘Cause you’re my best friend,” Mac said naturally, making eye contact for the first time, “and you’ve been so nice this past ten months and even before. I haven’t really appreciated how much you… matter to me and I want you to know that, hence… the special occasion. I’m sorry I was being annoying, but I really wanted that day to be perfect, you know? I wanted money not to be a problem, for the first time ever and, well… yeah.”

As he finished his sentence, Mac was back at being embarrassed, breaking eye contact and looking at the floor. Charlie had seen him like that many times, especially with Dennis, and suddenly he understood. Mac was waiting for rejection, for Charlie to laugh to his face and mock his sincerity and his emotions. A wave of anger engulfed Charlie, and all he wanted was to bash more rats than he ever had.

However, he also knew that anger was not what Mac needed at that moment, so he breathed like Mac had thought him and concentrated on his best friend. Softly, afraid of scaring him, Charlie placed a hand on his shoulder, making Mac go all stiff. Squeezing gently, he waited until Mac looked up and made eye contact once more.

“We don’t need money to have a great time, dude,” he said, looking directly at Mac’s brown eyes. Charlie remembered those eyes full of softness and warmth, and in the last couple of months, that look had came back from the dead, at least when directed at him. “We’ve never had money to begin with, and all I need for a perfect day is you, bashing some rats, huffing glue and doing what we do best.”

“What?” Mac said with a soft smile, looking amused and touched.

“Destroying shit and getting banned from places,” he said, smiling when the other man let out a loud laugh. 

“That does sound like a perfect day,” Mac said once he had stopped laughing. 

None of them said anything after a while, settling on the couch while some movie was on TV. They continued watching it like if nothing had happened, but the soft smile on Mac’s lips was enough to make Charlie’s day just a little closer to perfect.

A week passed before the gang could taste the place, and the day found the gang waiting outside the new restaurant in their best outfits. Charlie had put on the first thing he had found, but Frank and Dee were dressed like they were going to be with a Queen or something like that, which was a little too much for Charlie if you asked him. However Mac, well he was another story completely, as he was using his fancy pants and shirt, but unlike other times, his hair was disheveled and free of gel, like it usually was now. He was playing with his tie, which Dee had to tie for him as both him and Charlie were hopeless when ties were involved.

“Why are you nervous, dude?” Mac asked him as they made their way inside, noticing his constant bouncing. They were following the lady towards their table. “It’s just us.”

That wasn’t exactly true, as the restaurant was full of elegant and fancy people. Charlie could see they had a dude on the piano and a nice lady singing softly, and at the sight he tightened his fist, trying to calm down his heart. He wanted Mac to hear his song, but all those people could make fun of him and Charlie didn’t want that.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Mac said, pulling him out of his thoughts. His hands were holding Charlie by the shoulders and, slowly, they made their way towards Charlie’s, holding them tight. “Just breathe, okay?”

Together, they breathe in-sync, uncaring about everyone who was looking at them. Charlie could feel Dee and Frank’s stares on them, but they meant nothing when it was Mac who was looking at him like he was the only one who mattered.

“If it gets to be too much, we’ll leave, okay?” Mac said once Charlie had calmed down.

“But… what about the gang?” 

“They’ll understand,” Mac said with a shrug, “and if they don’t well, tough shit, we’ll still leave.” Which made Charlie laugh and relax.

Mac was smiling softly at him, and squeezed his hand, prepared to let go. But Charlie wasn’t ready for that. He stopped Mac from letting go, and held his gaze when Mac looked back at him, questioningly. Mac smiled softly and squeezed his hand in return, telling him a million things without a word. And, hand in hand, they walked towards the table.

As they sat down, Charlie could see Frank and Dee looking at their hands, but none of them said a thing. In fact, if Charlie didn’t know them, he would say they looked happy. Holding onto Mac’s hand, even if they were at the table, Charlie thought back to their childhood, when that was their normal and felt happy they were doing it again. As he looked away, at the musicians, he knew that it wasn’t time for the song to be performed. He had to perfect it. 

The song could wait, just like Charlie had.

...

_ 3:00 pm _

_ On a Sunday _

_ Philadelphia, PA.  _

“Dee is not as much of a bitch as I thought,” Mac said after looking at Dee on the shore, arguing with Frank over something about the tent she had brought. “She’s kinda okay, I guess.”

Charlie had always known that, but kept with the others behaviour so it wouldn’t turn on him. He liked that without Dennis, much of the bitterness and nastiness of the group had gone away. They were actually starting to resemble… friends? But instead of replying to Mac, he just hummed and continued to look at the lake in front of them. He had gone there to be away from Frank and Dee’s screeching, Mac had joined him not long after, and Charlie was enjoying the moment they were sharing together.

They had decided to go together to the same park they had visited when they were kids and wanted to camp, many many years ago. But this time, instead of just Mac and Charlie, it was also the gang with them. They had taken Dee’s car up to the woods, with enough supplies for the weekend, as Mac and Charlie knew they were rather hopeless when it came to surviving by themselves.

The weekend had gone in a flash, with scary stories told at night and laziness in the mornings, enjoying each other's company and the quietness of the forest. Frank would disappear from time to time, with his guns, returning a while later with questionable food, even by his own standards, which was saying something.

Sunday was the last day of their weekend trip, and usually Charlie would be eager to return to the city and the familiarity of Philadelphia, but he was scared to go back home, unlike the way he had been the last time they were there. Even though they had gotten closer in the year since Dennis had left, he still feared that the bastard man would return and reclaim Mac all to himself. 

While he was used to not have Mac’s attention all on himself, he would be lying if he said he hadn’t miss it. Missed the way Mac looked at him when it was just the two of them, the knowledge that no matter what, Mac would be standing there by his side. 

“Mac… I’ve missed my best friend,” Charlie said, avoiding eye contact, fearing that a boundary long impost over them had been crossed, even if they were back to when that ban never even existed. However, Mac was having none of it, as a soft hand landed on his shoulder, calling for him.

Reluctantly, Charlie looked at Mac, and was surprised to see the man already looking at him, with the same fondness and warmth that made Mac… Mac. Charlie’s heart was calm, even if his palms were sweating a little bit and he was more than aware of everything around them. If they so desired, Dee and Frank could turn and look at them and mock them, maybe they were doing so as Charlie thought that. But Mac made everything alright just by being there by Charlie’s side. 

“I have missed you too,” Mac replied softly, looking at Charlie without breaking eye contact, “more than I have ever realised.”

They lied there, looking at the clouds above them, forgetting about the rest of the world. For a moment, if only just a brief moment in time, there were only Mac and Charlie in the world. It was warm and bright, like a hug in the middle of the winter, holding you close against the bitterness of the cold. They had never needed anyone but each other.

And it was in that moment, Mac looking a the clouds while he himself was busy looking at Mac, that Charlie knew, with a certainty that could be overwhelming to anyone but himself, that everything would be okay as long as they were there next to each other. Nothing, not even Dennis, could break them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to read about the camping trip Charlie was thinking about, I wrote it right [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26539774)


	3. Anything Could Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The six months prior to Dennis' return. Mac and Charlie realise some things about themselves and their relationship, while Dee sees it all and plots. Mac, Charlie and Dee’s POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Inspired by ‘Anything Could Happen’ by Ellie Goulding._
> 
> TW: Canon typical behaviour. Mentions of abusive relationships by the abused person. Codependency in Dee's chapter.

_ 3:00 pm _

_ On a Sunday _

_ Philadelphia, PA.  _

Him and Charlie were relaxing nearby the lake while Frank and Dee were arguing over something on shore, gesturing wildly and with high pitched voices. Mac couldn’t care less about what they were arguing about, because if he was honest with himself, the man next to him held all of his attention. 

Charlie looked relaxed and happy on the surface, but Mac knew him well enough to know that underneath all that laid a well deep rooted fear. Ever since they were kids, he knew that he would do anything to keep Charlie’s fears at bay, and while he had admittedly done a poor job in the last few years, he still liked to think of himself as Charlie’s protector.

Whatever was bothering his friend, Mac would ease his fears, he just had to break the ice first, in a subtle yet direct way. Charlie was not known for understanding subtleties. Maybe pointing out that their group` friend had actually grown in the past year would be a good start.

“Dee is not as much of a bitch as I thought,” he said after realising that Dee and Frank were still arguing. “She’s kinda okay, I guess.”

And it really had surprised him to see how much he and Dee actually got along after Dennis left. He had realised he was sometimes cruel to her just to fit in with Dennis and appear cool in the other man’s eyes. Or how he would mock Charlie whenever Dennis mocked him too. He cringed at himself at that reminder, realising that he had not always been the best friend that Charlie deserved. And Dee, with Dee he had actually been cruel and mean. 

Charlie just hummed in response, and Mac considered that Charlie was the least horrible to Dee, even when Dennis was still around. People could say whatever they wanted about Charlie, but he wasn’t a man that was easily pushed around, unlike him. Charlie manipulated, not the other way around. He was smarter and more perceptive than people gave him credit for, underestimating him all the way. 

But unlike Dennis, Charlie would never manipulate him to hurt him. At least not intentionally or as a long con. He remembered with a low chuckle how Charlie had wanted to defend him, no questions asked, when the gang had thought he was a serial killer, or how he asked him to be the Dayman in his musical. He had stupidly rejected the part, thinking it wasn’t badass enough for him, but looking back, he understood what Charlie had been trying to say back then, way before the musical was even created.

Because he now understood that he was Charlie’s true Dayman, the fighter of his Nightman, a master of karate and friendship, for everyone. Charlie saw him the exact same way Mac wanted to see himself, at least in the things that mattered. And Mac had been too blind by Dennis’ glow to see it or appreciate it.

He didn’t think of Dennis as often as he first had. The missing piece of his heart that had left Dennis had been slowly growing back, with shared laughs and late night beers at Paddy’s with Charlie, or movie nights at the apartment where food was actually consumed and real talks between friends in the middle of the night. Charlie had retaken the place in his life Mac never should’ve kicked him out of in the first place. Charlie never said he resented those years or the treatment, even calming his guilt when Mac had shared it. Charlie had also made mistakes, but at the end of the day, they came back to each other. Even when he had nothing, he had Charlie, and Mac was beyond grateful for that.

“Mac… I’ve missed my best friend,” Charlie said, breaking the silence that had fallen onto them, as if he feared that breaking the silence would mean breaking something fragile between them. Sensing his friend’s anxieties, Mac reached for him, putting a hand on his shoulder, waiting for Charlie to come to him at his own time. He would never pressure Charlie to do anything he didn’t want to do, even to have a conversation. 

Slowly, Charlie looked at Mac, and a look of surprise and happiness crossed his face when his eyes met Mac’s, as if he had expected anything else from the man but friendship and warmth. Mac could never hate Charlie, not when Charlie had proven time after time that he would always stick to his side, and love him no matter what.

Because they loved each other, but lately, Mac had realised that the love he felt for Charlie was very very gay and very very real. Unlike the last time he had thought to have been in love, this time it actually made him feel good about himself, capable and strong. He wasn’t someone pretending to be something else, he was himself, and he was loved because of it, not in spite of it. 

And for the first time in his life, he wasn’t afraid of those feelings or of being rejected. What Charlie and he had went beyond words or time or space or whatever there was out there, it just  _ was _ . It had been there the first time they saw each other and it had been there throughout their entire friendship. It was something that was as part of Mac as it was part of Charlie. And Mac was in no hurry to force it to happen. He would wait for Charlie as long as Charlie had waited for Mac to come back to him.

“I have missed you too,” Mac replied when Charlie smiled at him, “more than I have ever realised.”

Nothing more needed to be said, or to be done. Whatever happened between them in the future would be at the right time, at the right place. And it would be everything both had ever wanted. They lied there, looking at the clouds above them, just existing together as they always had. It was a warm and bright afternoon, and Mac had never wanted to stay forever in a place like he had in that moment. 

Anything could happen, but whatever it might be, they would face it together, like they always had. Nothing could break them apart. And whatever tried to, Mac would fight it like he had never fought for anything before. Charlie was worth that and more.

…

_ 11:00 am _

_ On a Monday _

_ Philadelphia, PA. _

“No, Mac, you’re doing it wrong,” is what Dee was saying from behind the bar while Mac was trying to hang the Christmas ornaments above the booths. “You’re gonna hurt yourself and then is your ass alone, like hell I’m driving you to the hospital.”

“Fuck you too, Dee,” was what Mac said, with a frown on his face. “I’ve been doing this for more than ten years, I know what I’m doing.”

Charlie knew for a fact that Mac knew shit about what he was doing, but he would never admit that to anyone but him, especially Dee. Mac liked to believe himself as the protector of the gang, and that included making them feel the Christmas spirit even when only he and Charlie cared about the Holiday, even if for different reasons.

Because while for Mac Christmas was about religion and presents and family, Christmas for Charlie meant Mac. He remembered all those times with Mac arriving at his door with unopened presents, deciding to spend time with him, opening presents with him, walking around the city together against the rest of the world, throwing rocks at trains as they went by. 

He could care less about the actual date, but knew it was important to Mac, so it was important to him. Besides, presents were always cool and it meant having more things. 

As he contemplated Mac fighting to not fall on his face and make an ass of himself, Charlie felt the same warmth he associated with Mac and smiled. Mac was so happy and carefree that Charlie couldn’t help but feel the exact same way. If on a normal day Mac was like an over excited puppy, on Christmas time he became like a puppy with no self control over themselves.

And it didn’t help that besides his cuteness with those big brown eyes , Mac was becoming actually hot. In the  _ I-wanna-bang-you-even-though-I’m-not-that-interested-in-sex-to-begin-with _ way. The muscles that he had been building over the almost year and a half since Dennis left had really served him well and Charlie would be lying if he said he didn’t check him out… once or twice a day at least.

It also didn’t help that Mac made him feel safe and wanted and loved. It was like ever since that camping trip, Mac always made sure to make Charlie feel like he mattered, like Mac cared in a way no one had ever cared for him before. At first Charlie hadn’t known what to think of it, until Dee made him realise that that attention made him feel good with himself and with everyone around, so it was worth exploring and enjoying.

He relished whenever Mac picked a movie for them to watch that was animated or musical, or both, Charlie’s favourite genres besides action, or when he made his famous Mac and cheese but allowed Charlie to experiment with it. Whenever Mac encouraged him to keep reading and learning, Charlie felt invincible, like he could take on whatever the world put in front of him and win. 

But it was in those quiet moments at night, when they held each other against their nightmares, sharing on the warmth against cold nights, that Charlie really felt like he belonged somewhere and to someone. Mac was everything good in this world, even when he really really sucked, and Charlie wanted nothing more than to stay in his warmth and never leave.

He almost never stayed in his apartment, preferring to spend his nights next to Mac and in the apartment. Frank had tried to make him come back, even threaten him, but when Mac said that he had to respect Charlie’s choices if he was an actual friend, Frank had backed off. Maybe it had been Mac’s protective stance, actually scary for the first time, or the way Charlie had looked at Mac as if nothing else mattered in the world, but whatever it had been, Frank had smiled and said “Fine.” And if that night Charlie had decided to watch Mac’s favourite movie, well, that wasn’t neither here nor there. 

Charlie wanted to give him everything he needed, even things he didn’t need, if those things meant Mac would smile with his eyes and his whole face would like up like it was an actual Christmas tree. Seeing Mac happy made him happy in return. And wasn’t that what love was all about?

Charlie was no idiot, he knew he was in love with Mac. Had actually been in love with him for a very long time, maybe since that day when Mac had asked him about the ghouls he was talking about and nobody else could see. That warmth he felt regarding Mac was love, the truest kind of love that had ever existed, a love worthy of songs and poems and stories.

Even though he could still feel the unfinished song burning a whole in his pocket and that everything in him wanted nothing more than to jump right there and then and declare his feelings for Mac, he also knew that it just wasn’t the right time. Mac wouldn’t reject him, Charlie was sure of that, but the song just wasn’t ready. It was missing something, yet Charlie could not figure what was, and until that moment came, the song would remain unfinished.

He knew that the minute he sang his song, Mac would be ready to be with him. He could feel it every time they were together, that whatever was stopping them from being together had a time limit, and that limit was coming to an end. It was there, in every touch they shared, every laugh, every night spent together holding onto each other. It was epic, and painful and beautiful and so them that Charlie wouldn’t pressure it or force it to happen before its time. It wasn’t even scary to understand the depth and strength of his feelings, as they had always been there, even if by another name.

It was them and it was theirs, and whenever it happened, they wouldn’t be afraid of it.

Mac turned to look at him, finally having hung the lights on the ceiling, looking all too pleased with himself, and Charlie couldn’t have loved him more even if he tried. And he didn't need to try, cause every day he found himself loving Mac just a little bit more than before. 

But he didn’t say any of that, he just smiled at his best friend and laughed when he landed on his ass as he had missed a step. Mac laughed with him in return, even Dee laughed a little and life was good. Life was really good for them all. 

…

_ 8:00 pm _

_ On a Tuesday _

_ Philadelphia, PA _ . 

Unlike what people liked to believe, Dee was pretty perceptive and smart, thank you very much. She just didn’t care enough about other people to actually act on what she noticed. She was in it only for herself and nobody else mattered...

At least that had been the truth until Dennis left her behind and made her realise she had thought, albeit subconsciously, that Dennis would always be there for her. It only took one walking away and not looking back for the truth to hit her in the face and knock her down on her feet.

She had tried to make it look like she didn’t care, thinking that if she projected it enough, it would actually come true, to no avail. She was sad and alone and bitter and angry at her twin, and wanted the world to burn with her.

But then Mac had been all sad and pathetic and Dee realised she hadn’t been the only one burned by Dennis. There were other people around her affected by what had happened, and for the first time in her life, she realised she wasn’t as alone as she had thought she was. 

Sure, Mac was an entitled oblivious asshole, but he was feeling a similar pain as to what she was feeling, and that made him less of a stranger than he had ever been. They were both drifting away without an anchor, so Dee decided to reach out and hold onto that until a better anchor came by. They would never be friends, at least not really, but they could keep each other company and all those demons away.

At first she had been downright mean and cruel, shovelling into Mac’s face every rom-com she could ever find to make him understand that Dennis had never really cared about him, and that he was an idiot for being in as much pain as he was. But one day those rom-com afternoons had turned out into actual hang outs, with them discussing the movie and hating on every bitch that appeared on screen. And Dee felt something akin to friendship like she never had.

When Charlie would join them, that feeling only increased, not diminished like it used to do whenever the rest of the gang was around and Dee became the punchbag of all their jokes. She felt like she actually… belonged somewhere, to someone. And it wasn’t as scary as she had always thought it would be.

However, she was not blind nor she was stupid, so even though she was actually part of the gang, she could also see that whatever was happening between Mac and Charlie was not friendship like what they had with her. She could feel it in the air on those movie nights, with both of them practically cuddling and sharing food, or on those alone moments with Charlie or Mac when they couldn’t stop talking about the other.

Her old self would’ve mocked them and belittled them for what was happening, but if they were making an effort to be actually decent to her, maybe she could also care about what happened between her friends. And it wasn’t at all shocking to think of them as friends, even if sometimes all she wanted was to shove Mac and punch him in the face. They deserved to be happy, and she honestly believed no one could make them as happy as each other. 

So, without much regret, she asked for Frank’s help to get them together, which the old man was more than happy to accomplish.

“Since when do you care about other people’s happiness?” She asked him as they were walking towards Paddy with their food. 

“I could ask you the same thing, Deandra,” Frank said as he ate some sort of bread he had bought at the pizza place, “but I don’t care.”

“Then why are you helping me?”

“Because if those two get together, Charlie can stop pretending he doesn’t already live with Mac and I can have the place all to myself.”

Dee tried to hold back a sigh, but she failed, which thankfully Frank ignored. Whatever his reasons, he was willing to help her and that’s all she actually cared about. Maybe things would get even better if Charlie and Mac actually got together, mainly her having to stop listening to both of them gush about the other and deal with the really uncomfortable sexual tension that would form whenever they forgot she was in the room. Which thankfully wasn’t as nearly as often as she had feared.

“What took you so long?” Mac demanded once they entered the pub. He didn’t even stand up and tried to help her with the bags, since Frank was useless to begin with, content with sitting next to Charlie.

She didn’t try to suppress the eye roll as she sat down and put the containers on the table.

“Next time, you go for the food, then, asshole,” she said as she handed them their food, “see if you can make it any faster than I did.”

“Oh, I’ll be the fastest of everyone here Dee, and then you’ll eat your words because your food will be too hot to actually be eaten,” Mac said between bites, earning a gag from her.

“Are you gonna come home tonight, Charlie?” Frank asked, fighting with his food.

“Why you ask, man?” Charlie asked instead, not before sharing a look with Mac, making Dee want to punch them both.

“I have a date and I wanted to make sure you’ll be away.”

“Oh, yeah,” Charlie said like it was no big deal, “I’ll stay with Mac tonight.”

And Frank was about to say something, Dee could already see it, so she kicked him in the shin, making him jump. She couldn’t risk him opening his big fat mouth and ruin her plan.

“What the fuck was that for, Deandra?” Frank asked, angry and glaring at her.

“What are you talking about?” she played dumb.

Then Frank kicked her in return… or at least he tried, as he ended up kicking Mac instead.

“Now why the fuck do you kick me, Frank?” Mac asked as he put down his food, “I’m not the goddamn bird.”

“Hey, fuck you, asshole,” Dee said as she kicked him instead, earning a kick from him. And not wanting to be the only one left behind, Charlie kicked Frank.

“Godamint Charlie,” Frank said as he started kicking around, “kick them, not me.”

And before they knew, they started laughing and kicking at each other, carefree and happy. 

“So I leave and everyone turns into children,” a voice said from behind them, startling everyone at the bar. “How typical.”

Everyone turned around stunned, to find Dennis lazily leaning back on the bar, looking like he still belonged with them. Dee quickly turned to look at Mac and his face was the perfect definition of disturbed, while Charlie looked puzzled and angry.

Frank and her shared a look before turning to look at Dennis, who had his eyes on Mac as if he was a prey ready to be devoured. The bar was silent, filled with tension and pain. But it was when Dennis registered just how close Mac and Charlie were sitting that his feral grin turned really, really angry.

_ Oh shit,  _ was all Dee could think as everything came tumbling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me more than a month to update. I was struggling with inspiration and life and motivation to write this. But it's here and DENNIS IS COMMING.
> 
> Not sure when the next update will be, but I really hoped you liked it.


	4. Somebody Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis is back and… things are not what they used to be. Dennis’ POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by ‘Somebody Else’ by The 1975 and the reason this fic exists at all.
> 
> TW: Canon typical behaviour.

_ 8:00 pm _

_ On a Tuesday _

_ Philadelphia, PA _ . 

After a year and a half away, Dennis was ready to return to Paddy’s, sure that the gang was a dysfunctional mess without him. Charlie was probably in deep shit with The Waitress without Dennis there to guide him, and Dee was probably failing to hide how much she missed him like crazy. But it was Mac who was most likely to be a pathetic mess without him. 

Ever since he came out, Mac had shed all pretence of seeing Dennis as a platonic friend and latched onto him the same way Dennis had to back when they were in their early thirties, right before Mac went against gay marriage and Dennis married Maureen. He knew the minute he walked into the bar, Mac would drop everything he was doing and would go to be right beside him, the way he was always supposed to.

Dennis didn’t regret any of his actions, despite the fact that being a father was not something he had particularly succeed at. The Golden God knows no regret, and Mac had it coming with the way he clung onto Dennis like a parasite. Their dynamic worked when it was all under the ‘no homo’ pretence, but with Mac finally out, well, it simply didn’t work unless Dennis held all the cards. Hence the ‘Neglect Emotionally’ phase they had currently experienced.

He never thought he’d have to DENNIS Mac, but circumstances made it necessary in order to re-establish who was in command in their relationship. By now, Mac would be at his beck and call and no one would question it. 

Without questioning himself, he made his way into Paddy’s, ready to be received with a thunderous applause. Charlie would whoop, Dee would smile and even Frank would recognise how miserable they all had been without him. But Mac, oh sweet stupid Mac would cry, and Dennis couldn’t wait.

They were sitting at their usual booth, and looked practically much the same if a little older. Well, all except for Mac, who looked absolutely like a model pulled out of the magazines Dennis hid underneath his bed hoping nobody would ever find it. It was like one of his dreams that had come to life. 

“Oh, yeah,” Charlie was saying as he took a bite from his pizza. “I’ll stay with Mac tonight.”

And suddenly everything Dennis had imagined for his return shattered into a million pieces. What did Charlie mean by ‘I’ll stay with Mac tonight’? Surely Dennis had heard wrong and Mac hadn’t invited Dirt Grub into  _ their _ home, right? Mac knew better than that.

While he knew that Charlie and Mac shared a bond not even he could understand, he also knew that over the years, Mac had replaced Charlie with Dennis himself in his list of priorities. And who could blame him? It was impossible to care for such a man when the epitome of human perfection demanded all of your time and attention.

“What the fuck was that for, Deandra?” Frank asked, pulling Dennis out of his thoughts.

“What are you talking about?” Dee asked in return, in the worst acting Dennis had seen her do. However, none of the gang called her on her bullshit, and that unnerved Dennis to no end.

The whole point of having Dee on the gang was to humiliate her, belittle her. The bitch couldn’t even say ‘I love you’ back to her own brother and the gang was supposed to treat her like what? Friends. Please, she was a charity case to all of them.

Yet, Dennis couldn’t help but see the way Mac and Charlie looked at her, with exasperated amusement and fake annoyance. It was almost like they liked her, which was inconceivable and stupid to even suggest. There was only one spot for a Reynolds twin in the gang's preference, and that was Dennis’ spot.

“Now why the fuck do you kick me, Frank?” Mac asked as he put down his food, looking annoyed but happy. “I’m not the goddamn bird.”

“Hey, fuck you, asshole,” Dee said as she tried not to laugh. Mac and her exchanged looks and they both look like they were actually having fun. But that was wrong. If there was one thing Dennis knew it was that Dee and Mac hated each other so much that they couldn’t even pretend to be a couple to save themselves.

Nothing was right and Dennis had the irking feeling it was all his fault.

“Goddamint Charlie,” Frank said, “kick them, not me.”

And much to Dennis' surprise, the whole gang started laughing and kicking at each other, carefree and happy. And the sight made his blood boil. But he couldn’t let the gang know they had that effect on him. He was a new man after North Dakota, or so he’d make them believe until the world right itself once more.

“So I leave and everyone turns into children,” he said in his most measured voice, which still managed to startle everyone. “How typical.”

Everyone turned around, stunned. He could see it on their faces that they were indeed surprised and still weary of him. But it was Mac looking unsettled and Charlie at his side looking murderous that almost made Dennis deflate on his confidence. 

Frank and Dee shared a look before turning to look at him, but he paid them no mind as all he could see was Mac nervously holding his gaze. He liked the knowledge that Mac was still moved by him, and what would make his return to the gang a whole lot easier. But then, Charlie moved just the tiniest bit, resting against Mac’s side, and Dennis truly realised just how close they were sitting. And he saw red. 

“Well, aren’t you gonna say anything?” he asked as he made his way towards them, establishing power and dominance on his way. “It’s been a while.”

Mac was still silent, but after a pause and a quick silent exchange with Charlie, who was looking more relaxed but on edge, he nodded. He looked like he was reading himself for something, and Dennis didn’t like that at all. Old Mac sure talked back, but the Mac he had left behind was desperate for Dennis’ praise and attention.

“Hey, Den,” Mac said, not making eye contact with him. “How’s it going?”

Dennis could see that the whole gang was holding their breath at their exchange. Dee and Frank were looking back and forth between them, which was fine, it suited them. Yet Charlie was only looking at Mac, and Dennis felt his blood boil.

“I should ask you that, seeing as you look very… fatty right now,” he said, disdainfully, “Did you gain weight again?”

Mac’s cheeks turned pink, and that sight always elevated Dennis. If there was one thing under his control, it was Mac. 

“He’s actually totally ripped,” Charlie interrupted them, placing a hand on Mac’s impressive bicep. “He is like a total badass.”

At Charlie’s praise, Mac’s blush deepened, but his gaze turned to the man in question and all traces of doubt or uncertainty were erased by a look of pure adoration. It was the same look Dennis would have directed at him before he left.

“You’re fucking,” he said, with no tact whatsoever, “well, can’t say I’m surprised, seeing as there’s not like someone could stand either of you.”

Mac’s blush disappeared, leaving behind nothing but paleness. And Charlie’s eyes were even crazier than usual. Dennis relished in having riled them up, but his victory was short lived.

“Shut the fuck up, Dennis,” Dee said with disdain, “whatever they’re doing is none of our business.”

“Yeah, are you homophobic or what?” Frank asked as he continued with his pizza, not really looking at him. “Didn’t expect that from you, but okay.”

“What?” Dennis asked, perplexed, “I’m not homophobic.”

“Then why are you commenting in those two fucking. It has nothing to do with you.”

Dennis wanted to explode and tell them that everything that was wrong with the gang was his fault, he shouldn’t have left them alone, because the minute he did so, they all transformed into pathetic assholes. But it wasn’t the time or the moment, so he sighed.

“You’re right,” he said with a fake smile as he calmed down, “I was just… surprised.”

“Well, don’t be,” Mac said for the first time since Dennis entered his line of vision, “Charlie and me... it’s always been there, you know?” Mac shrugged, looking sheepish.

Charlie smiled softly at him, making Dennis want to puke. Mac was lying, which wasn’t surprising considering Mac’s everything and his stupid coping mechanism. It had always been Mac and Dennis, the Dynamic Duo. They shared everything, a life, a house, a bank account. Speaking of which…

“I’ve noticed our bank account has more money,” he said casually as he sat next to Frank, because Charlie refused to move. “What’s that about?”

Mac shrugged, turning to face his pizza once more. He had lost his appetite though, so he was only playing with his food. Dennis would have to have a talk with him regarding that.

“I’ve been saving for some stuff,” Mac said with a small smile as he looked at Charlie.

“Oh, well, I used the money to buy my plane ticket,” he said, dropping the smile. He had thought that Mac had put on more money into the bank account as a silent signal to get him to come back home. Apparently he had been wrong. 

“What?” Mac asked in disbelief, angry for the first time. “You have to be fucking kidding me, Dennis. I’ve been saving that money for months, you asshole.”

“I… I’m sorry Mac, but it’s our…”

“It’s MY bank account, dipshit,” Mac said, looking murderous, “I’ve been the one paying the bills, putting money into it, working my ass off. Ours my ass.”

“You do have a nice ass,” Charlie muttered, making Mac lose focus, and stutter. He once again turned bright red and looked at Charlie with awe and adoration.

“Shut up,” Mac said softly as he leaned onto Charlie’s touch.

“Mac, that bank account is in both our names and…”

“Save it, Dennis,” Mac said, uninterested, “It’s what it is. You'll pay me back whenever you can.”

Mac couldn’t even be angry at him anymore! And expected money from Dennis. Dennis, the man who had paid rent for them for 15 years, who had taken care of the bills without expecting anything in return. That just wouldn’t do it. Mac was too different. Too unlike his Mac, and when things were unlike Dennis wanted, he plotted and manipulated until things were the way they were supposed to.

“Shit, Charlie, we’re gonna be late,” Mac said as his phone lit up and he saw the time. He stood up and grabbed Charlie’s hand, like it was second nature. Dennis’ heart plumbed down and couldn’t understand what was going on.

“Have fun, assholes,” Dee said from where she was sitting as Charlie and Mac made their way out of the bar, with only a quick “Later losers,” from Mac as goodbye.

“What the fuck is going…” he began saying before a fist made its presence known on his face. The punch was strong enough that he fell from the booth onto the floor, and turned to look at Frank who had moved to sit across from Dee. Dee was looking at them between angry and smug.

“What the fuck?” He asked the pair in front of him.

“Leave them alone,” Frank said without looking at him. “It’s your fault for leaving.”

“They’re happy,” Dee said after a while, once Dennis had sat down again, “don’t ruin that.”

Oh, but ruin it is what he would do. Mac was his to toy with, and no childhood friend would stand in the way of MacDennis. Absolutely no. It was only a speed bump on the road, but the end was the two of them together, Charlie far away from them.

Yes, Dennis would get Mac back. And everything would return to the way things were supposed to be.


End file.
